If you are not a teacher, you do not realize how big a task this is. It means that you have to be prepared to jump from one thing to the next (a minimum of ten or fifteen subjects and assignments), non-stop, all day long - all the while maintaining order in a classroom of 25 students, juggling lunch, classroom switching, PE, constant potty breaks, unwanted interruptions (like a group of administrators here for a meeting stepping in to observe you, unannounced - oh, while your teacher is gone for the day), broken pencils, hissy fits, tattling, homework, a non-functioning Promethean board (fixed in a few days, huh?), postponed lesson plans, lunch money, studying for my looming comprehensive exams, and manage to keep yourself together - all day long.
That about sums up my day today. Throw in a few shed tears after the students left and it sounds perfect, right?
I admit, this week is the first time I have ever looked at my tear-streaked face in a mirror before and said, "Why in the world would you want to be a teacher?!"
The gravity of what I have signed up for hit me full force this week - do I really, I mean really, have what it takes to be a teacher? If I were to judge my preparedness to teach using this week, the answer would be a siren screaming, flashing red light, yelling at the top of my lungs NO!!!!
The Lord doesn't call the equipped; He equips the called.I don't usually like quotes that simply reverse the order of words (personally, I think they're cheap and silly), but that was what was ringing in my head at the end of today.
I know I have a lot to learn, but do I really have what it takes to be the kind of teacher that makes a difference? How can I make a difference when I can't even teach decimals and rounding? Helping kids lives will be of no value if they flunk fourth grade. If God has plans for me to teach, which I strongly believe He does (or else I wouldn't be putting myself through this), He will have to do mighty things to help me feel qualified. The last thing that I want to do is to waste children's time and lives because of my in-adequateness.
So, if you find this and feel like praying, say a small prayer that God will (somehow) help me be the kind of teacher these kids need!
I dislike ending this post so negatively. So, on a positive note:
"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13
"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen." Philippians 4:19-20
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