A *vulnerable* flashback

I am a pretty transparent person. I have lots of emotions. I wear them on my sleeve - well, more like my face, but you get the picture. This post is going to be a very open look into my heart.

One year ago, almost to the day, God began stirring in my heart the idea of moving overseas to teach. Wow. He has brought me so far.

During this time in March 2016, our Sunday School class was doing a girls' bible study with the "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed" study (side note: if you've never done it, DO IT! I will also be referring to that as ATR from here on out). I decided to glance back through my journal at the entries around this time last year. I'm just going to share a few with you, just to show you how the Lord works!

March 28

"I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."                                                        Psalms 27:13-15

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him."     Psalms 28:7

March 29

 After I wrote those verses, God broke me - again. He gave me more then I could handle.

March 30

[my thoughts from ATR that week] It was like Priscilla Shirer was talking directly to me!
"Remember Whose you are and who you are" - it is only because of Him that you've done anything in your life at all!
Who are you in Christ? We are established by Him! When God is your center, you are unstoppable.
I want to be known as someone after God's own heart who is ready to do His Will {Side note: Y'all - this was like the day before God dropped the bomb on me of going overseas!!!}

April 1
I am beginning to wonder if God really does want me some where else soon {Side note.. sorry...I won't keep doing this...ok, yes I probably will: Within the previous 2 weeks, four people had mentioned to me at separate times about leaving Montgomery and teaching elsewhere}. Today's bible study also talked about letting God have control and trying not to control because it only brings anxiety. Yes.
What does God want from me in the future (job & life)?
Read Psalms 31!!
v1-In thee, oh Lord, do I put my trust
v2-Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for a house of defense to save me
*v3-For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me
v14-But I trusted in thee, oh Lord; I said, Thou art my God
v15-my times are in thy hand
v19-oh how great is thy goodness, which thou has laid up for them that fear you
*v24-be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord


April 5
Praying about teaching Internationally!! [THERE IT IS!! This was after several days of freaking out!!] God has connected me with two different women who have international school connections and I have begun working on my applications.
2 Corinthians 3:5-6
"Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God [little did I know how powerful that would be for me in the next few months/year]; Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament [the gospel]; not of the letter [the old covenant - the law], but of the spirit; for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life."
Excerpt for ATR that week:
"We must come to our situations (life, finances, singlenss, big job, decisions, etc) knowing that God equips for His purpose those He calls."

 He calls. He establishes. He equips. He has specific plans.

"But by the Grace of God I am what I am..." 1 Cor 15:10

Y'all, God knew the plan from the start. Nothing...absolutely nothing...surprises Him! And how thankful we should be about that!! Praise the Lord that the Faithful Jehovah Elohim (Almighty Creator God) is all-knowing, all-seeing, and ever present!

He does, in fact, have everything under control.

Yet, we are continually in shock when something happens and we can see how it was connected to something a year ago (or even 10 years ago) that happened in our lives.

Yes, God knows.

And He does have a plan and a purpose for every little thing that is going on in your life.

[Final side note: If you don't journal, I would highly encourage you to start. It is just a great way to see the Lord's faithfulness woven in to all parts of your life. My journal entries are not long and eloquent...in fact, sometimes that are short and even silly to look back on. But it's worth it to be able to read back over how the Lord has been faithful.]